Life Lessons - Second Grade

My grade was always split into 3 classes throughout elementary school. There was this one time we were packed like sardines into 1 classroom to watch a movie. Mrs. Keith was a pleasantly plump woman. While weaving her way through a row of seated students, her rump collided with Tim Nevinger’s head, nearly knocking him out of his chair. I was sitting behind Tim, so it easily could have been me. Once I got over the initial relief of literally not being a butthead, I couldn’t stop laughing. Actually, there was very little external laughing; I was able to restrain myself and focus on the movie. But the internal laughter? It just wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t get that picture out of my head and it always threatened to spur a giggle loop. This seems like an appropriate time to endorse the British sitcom “Coupling”. It’s worth some of your time. 

Anyway, I decided it would be a good idea to pay tribute to Mrs. Keith’s butt (I probably should have chose my words better, but this typewriter is unforgiving) by re-enacting the scene with my brother.  Next time I saw an opportunity, I took it.  Eventually this form of combat found a home in the brotherly wars.  Well that’s pretty lame you must be thinking.  Ah, but I haven’t told you the best part.  When you launch your backside into someone, you must cry out, “Boom! Mrs. Keith!”  I’m not above admitting that sometimes to this day I’ll even engage in this juvenile activity, and I NEVER forget to say the words.  Wait, what life lesson could you possibly have learned from this ordeal?  Second grade had no discernible impact on my life.  However, the self-imposed rules of this blog mini-series dictate that I cover each grade.  I gave you a story instead.  Sue me.  But I’m reading a “lessons learned” blog expecting a pearl of wisdom I can take away and apply to my own life.  Hey, this is about me and not you.  Stop reading nonsense like this and see a shrink.  There, you’ve just been educated.