Crushes, Part 2

[For background details on this mini-series, go here]

 

Time frame = 8^th grade

Code name = Linebacker

 

This was the girl on the list I definitely had the least contact with.  It was very much in the vein of the crush you desire from afar.  In fact, I’m not even sure we ever even talked (probably something that still holds true).  Whatever glimmer of hope I may have had didn’t last very long; Tina Szudarski made sure of that.  Somehow word must have gotten out that I liked Linebacker.  I’m not sure if Tina was sent by Linebacker or if she was being proactive on her friend’s behalf.  The brief conversation at my locker went something like this:

                Tina: Is it true that you like Linebacker?

I was somewhat taken aback by the directness of the question.  Obviously I did, but the tone of the question definitely suggested it was one I didn’t want to say yes to. There was a chance Tina was being the intermediary because Linebacker was too shy (much like myself) to make any move, but I knew better.  I decided to squash the “rumor” to try and save face.

                Me:  Uh, no.

                Tina:  Well good, because she definitely doesn’t like you.

                Well I’m glad we got that cleared up.

So there really isn't much more to the story than that.  I did my best to avoid Linebacker going forward and played it as cool as a Younker is possibly capable of whenever she was around.  Knowing exactly where I stood probably made things a lot easier and allowed me to move on without any lingering feelings.

Crushes, Part 1

Background:  A couple weeks ago, I got to thinking about the former crushes I had.  I started compiling a list.  Then I started thinking about my experiences, or lack thereof, with each.  It sure seemed like a decent enough idea for a mini-series in this blog. (Yes, I realize the mini-series dealing with the life lessons I've learned while progressing through school remains incomplete.  I plan on finishing it at least through sixth grade, but I just sorta hit the wall on that topic.  So I'm going in this direction for a while).  My biggest internal debate with this mini-series is whether I want to divulge the names of the girls involved.  I really don't have an issue with anybody knowing their names but maybe they do. I've decided to assign them all code names.  Maybe you can crack the code with the details provided or maybe you can just ask me; I'll probably tell you.  I'm also providing a time frame just to put things in some perspective.  Before I begin, let it be stated that I'm not seeking any personal gain from this.  What's revealed here is mostly ancient history and for informational purposes only.  Maybe some of the girls on this list will get a laugh, maybe some would even be flattered (yeah, it was hard saying that with a straight face).  Of course, this all assumes that said girls would read this (unlikely) or a friend of said girls would read it, put the pieces together, and inform said girl (probably just as unlikely).  I know some of the girls on the list are happily married and others are in stable relationships.  For the rest, I can only assume one of the two is true.  All of them have my blessing.  I'll cover one crush at a time, and there's no set number I have in mind. There's also no order to which these crushes will be written about.  It's not chronological or in terms of significance.  I'm just picking one and writing about them.  We'll see how long this fad lasts.

Time frame = College

Code name = Kung Pow

I met this girl while working at Sportmart (now Sports Authority) during college.  This one was the closest thing I’ve ever had to “crush at first sight”.  It probably wasn’t first sight but I remember liking her pretty much immediately.  She had a look and smile that just drew me in. Once I found out she was a soccer player, it was game on.  So I’d do whatever it took to be around her while at work – find excuses to wander into her section of the store, park my car near hers so we could walk out together, etc.  Everything short of making any kind of significant move of course.  I never parked in that section of the parking lot before Kung Pow arrived, but I never parked anywhere else for the rest of my years at the store, long after she was gone.  That never dawned on me until I sat down and started writing this, and I’m sure it has everything to do with us humans just being creatures of habit.  I just found it interesting is all. 

There was no three strikes policy at this point, but it’s safe to say that my experiences with Kung Pow paved the way to the doctrine so near and dear to my heart today.  My first invite to her was to my friend Bult’s 4^th of July party, and those parties were always pretty bitchin’.  Alas, she was going to be out of town visiting relatives.  It was during this conversation she revealed that she was somehow related to Jason Mraz and he would be at this family gathering.  Pretty cool I thought. This was around the time when “The Remedy (I Won’t Worry)” was getting a lot of radio play.  After the way this crush played out, I transferred my disdain for Kung Pow onto Mraz and, by extension, that song.  I’m OK with the song now but those privy to my music library will note that it doesn’t contain any more of his songs (and he’s had other singles).  I’ll still forever think of Kung Pow when I hear “The Remedy” though. 

 

My second invite and the one I was most excited for was our annual Labor Day party.  She agreed to come and we exchanged numbers in case she got lost.  I don’t know what I was really expecting to happen but she was coming and that was good enough for me.  The party happens and she doesn’t show.  Not even so much as a call, which really irked me.  Strike two.  You best believe that scenario is accounted for in the three strikes policy.  So the next time I saw her at work, I confronted her about it.  Her reason had something to do with her grandma being real sick, possibly dying.   I don’t really remember.  I was less than compassionate about it you could say.  I felt slighted and made it clear that I would have at least appreciated a notification from her.  I wasn’t even sure I believed her excuse reason and questioned its truthfulness.  Dumb move; it made her cry.  While we were able to regain speaking terms, it never was the same again.  I wish I could say that was the last girl I would ever call out for being a no show only to have her reveal the cause was some sort of death…  My luck and timing are impeccable no doubt.

Why did I act as I did toward Kung Pow?  In retrospect, it was unjustified.  I guess I was just really, really excited about her coming and I’ve always been harsher on the people I care most about.  My expectations are higher with them (perhaps unrealistically so) and I feel like I have a longer leash.  So if I’m rough on you, you should take it as a sign of true caring.  As the summer was coming to a close and she was heading back to college, I decided to take one final stab before she left.  I learned of a disc golf course near the store and thought it would be a great opportunity to hang out and talk.  I whole-heartedly endorse that as a first date setting by the way.  I’ve used it once before and would do so again.  Anyway, I had Kung Pow’s number from before.  After working up some nerve (and that took some doing I’ll tell you), I finally made the call.  It rang… and rang… and rang… and rang.  Nothing, not even voicemail.  Well, that was the cosmic sign that it was the end of the road.  Strike three as it were.  She went back to school a week or two later and I never did see her again.  I opened up my old journal and found an old passage I wrote the day before this uneventful call.  Heh, what a trip to compare my thoughts and expectations back then to what they are now.  Ah, the old journal.  I’m a pretty open book (if you couldn’t tell) but there’s stuff in there even I probably wouldn’t share with anyone.

I shared the tale with my friend Tom after it happened and he could tell I was a little distraught.  Being the good friend he is, he affectionately dubbed her “Sportmart Bitch” to help remind me that it was her loss.  We had some laughs and got some good run out of the nickname.  Somewhere along the line, Tom made a pledge to periodically call the number himself and see if he could get a response.  Just like me, he got nothing and I forgot about his vow.  Several months later when he was down at EIU, he called me proclaiming that I would never guess who he just talked to (Sportmart Bitch, in case you’re poor at making inferences).  Apparently, she had that number disconnected for a while.  It was an amusing little footnote to this crush but nothing more.  In the back of my mind, I always wondered if Kung Pow would stop in the store sometime (she lived in the area, or at least I thought she still did) just so I could see her and catch up.  Amazingly, we somehow ended up friends (and still are, for whatever that’s worth) on Facebook.  I don’t even remember Facebook being a thing the last time we talked.

2014 Update:  Kung Pow and I have since reconnected.  She's still really cool and if she reads this, I hope she isn't too offended any of it.  It's how I felt at the time and not necessarily what I feel now.  I enjoy hanging out with her and I harbor no ill feelings from the past.