Time frame = College
Code name = Kung Pow
I met this girl while working at Sportmart (now Sports Authority) during college. This one was the closest thing I’ve ever had to “crush at first sight”. It probably wasn’t first sight but I remember liking her pretty much immediately. She had a look and smile that just drew me in. Once I found out she was a soccer player, it was game on. So I’d do whatever it took to be around her while at work – find excuses to wander into her section of the store, park my car near hers so we could walk out together, etc. Everything short of making any kind of significant move of course. I never parked in that section of the parking lot before Kung Pow arrived, but I never parked anywhere else for the rest of my years at the store, long after she was gone. That never dawned on me until I sat down and started writing this, and I’m sure it has everything to do with us humans just being creatures of habit. I just found it interesting is all.
There was no three strikes policy at this point, but it’s safe to say that my experiences with Kung
Pow paved the way to the doctrine so near and dear to my heart today. My first invite to her was to my friend Bult’s 4th
of July party, and those parties were always pretty bitchin’. Alas, she was going to be out of town visiting
relatives. It was during this
conversation she revealed that she was somehow related to Jason Mraz and he
would be at this family gathering.
Pretty cool I thought. This was around the time when “The Remedy (I Won’t
Worry)” was getting a lot of radio play.
After the way this crush played out, I transferred my disdain for Kung
Pow onto Mraz and, by extension, that song.
I’m OK with the song now but those privy to my music library will note
that it doesn’t contain any more of his songs (and he’s had other singles). I’ll still forever think of Kung Pow when I
hear “The Remedy” though.
My second invite and the one I was most excited for was our
annual Labor Day party. She agreed to
come and we exchanged numbers in case she got lost. I don’t know what I was really expecting to
happen but she was coming and that was good enough for me. The party happens and she doesn’t
show. Not even so much as a call, which
really irked me. Strike two. You best believe that scenario is accounted
for in the three strikes policy. So the
next time I saw her at work, I confronted her about it. Her reason had something to do with her
grandma being real sick, possibly dying.
I don’t really remember. I was
less than compassionate about it you could say.
I felt slighted and made it clear that I would have at least appreciated
a notification from her. I wasn’t even
sure I believed her excuse reason and questioned its truthfulness. Dumb move; it made her cry. While we were able to regain speaking terms,
it never was the same again. I wish I
could say that was the last girl I would ever call out for being a no show only
to have her reveal the cause was some sort of death… My luck and timing are impeccable no doubt.
Why did I act as I did toward Kung Pow? In retrospect, it was unjustified. I guess I was just really, really excited
about her coming and I’ve always been harsher on the people I care most
about. My expectations are higher with
them (perhaps unrealistically so) and I feel like I have a longer leash. So if I’m rough on you, you should take it as
a sign of true caring. As the summer was
coming to a close and she was heading back to college, I decided to take one
final stab before she left. I learned of
a disc golf course near the store and thought it would be a great opportunity
to hang out and talk. I whole-heartedly
endorse that as a first date setting by the way. I’ve
used it once before and would do so again. Anyway, I had Kung Pow’s number from
before. After working up some nerve (and
that took some doing I’ll tell you), I finally made the call. It rang… and rang… and rang… and rang. Nothing, not even voicemail. Well, that was the cosmic sign that it was
the end of the road. Strike three as it
were. She went back to school a week or
two later and I never did see her again.
I opened up my old journal and found an old passage I wrote the day
before this uneventful call. Heh, what a trip
to compare my thoughts and expectations back then to what they are now. Ah, the old journal. I’m a pretty open book (if you couldn’t tell)
but there’s stuff in there even I probably wouldn’t share with anyone.
I shared the tale with my friend Tom after it happened and
he could tell I was a little distraught.
Being the good friend he is, he affectionately dubbed her “Sportmart
Bitch” to help remind me that it was her loss.
We had some laughs and got some good run out of the nickname. Somewhere along the line, Tom made a pledge
to periodically call the number himself and see if he could get a
response. Just like me, he got nothing
and I forgot about his vow. Several
months later when he was down at EIU, he called me proclaiming that I would
never guess who he just talked to (Sportmart Bitch, in case you’re poor at
making inferences). Apparently, she had
that number disconnected for a while. It
was an amusing little footnote to this crush but nothing more. In the back of my mind, I always wondered if Kung
Pow would stop in the store sometime (she lived in the area, or at least I
thought she still did) just so I could see her and catch up. Amazingly, we somehow ended up friends (and still
are, for whatever that’s worth) on Facebook. I don’t even remember Facebook being a thing
the last time we talked.
2014 Update: Kung Pow and I have since reconnected. She's still really cool and if she reads this, I hope she isn't too offended any of it. It's how I felt at the time and not necessarily what I feel now. I enjoy hanging out with her and I harbor no ill feelings from the past.
2014 Update: Kung Pow and I have since reconnected. She's still really cool and if she reads this, I hope she isn't too offended any of it. It's how I felt at the time and not necessarily what I feel now. I enjoy hanging out with her and I harbor no ill feelings from the past.
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