Life Lessons - Ninth Grade

In geometry class as a freshman, I sat next to a junior named Doug Schreurs for roughly a semester.  Doug and I were never friends.  Our entire interaction consisted of short conversations that took place between the time we arrived at our seats and the time the bell rang to start class.  With the exception of two occasions, I can’t even tell you what we discussed.  

The first chat I recall involved Doug asking to borrow my notebook so he could copy my notes.  This was near the end of the first semester so the all-important cumulative final was forthcoming.  Doug had missed a few days recently and I don’t think his notes were all that detailed to begin with.  I always took copious notes and, as you might have guessed, was proud of my work.  Doug was a nice enough guy and he was perfectly willingly to talk to a lowly freshman, even a nerdy one like me.  So I lent him the notebook without thinking twice about the gesture. 

The second conversation that remains with me is when Doug returned the notebook to me.  Sounding entirely relieved and confident that my notes had put him on the right path to passing the exam, he thanked me and called me a “life saver”.  I’m not really sure why but his words made me feel good about myself.  Maybe the confirmation of my notebook’s utmost quality was just what my bloated ego needed to hear.  Maybe it was the good will I had accrued from truly helping a fellow student in need.  Looking back, I’ll never forget those exact words of gratitude.

Doug Schreurs was killed in a car accident less than a week later, prior to the semester final.  My good deed?  Doug’s hard work to catch up and prepare for the final?  All of it had been for naught.  Looking at that empty seat for the rest of the semester, I couldn’t fill the hollow space in my gut.  It didn’t make sense.  I’ve certainly had people much closer to me who have passed away, and my day-to-day life didn’t change going forward.  Still, it can’t be coincidence that this is one of the first memories that came to mind when considering a life lesson learned in ninth grade.

I’m not entirely sure what the takeaway is from this story, but here’s my feeble stab at it.  Everyone you come across in your life has a role to play, no matter how brief their stay is.  They are the vessel by which a message is being delivered.  Keep your eyes and mind open to absorb it. 

I’m reminded of Mitch Albom’s best-selling book “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” (a worthwhile read).  I’m not sure if there’s such a thing as heaven (I want there to be) and I don’t know if I’ll be lucky enough to be allowed in.  But there’s something comforting in the book’s concept.  We get a chance to re-learn the most important lessons in life from people who have impacted ours.  These people could be anybody, even somebody you’ve long since forgotten.  Maybe Doug is one of my five people, waiting there for me to help put all the pieces together.  In the meantime, I’ll try to live this life – the present – for all that it’s worth. 

"All endings are beginnings.  We just don't know it at the time."