Q101: 2007

How did we get here?

2007 (Or, the year alternative music careened off a cliff and could no longer be my sole provider of audio goodness)

5. “Phantom Limb” – The Shins

So when they tap our Monday heads / Two zombies walk in our stead / This town seems hardly worth the time / And we'll no longer memorize or rhyme / Too far along in our climb / Stepping over what now towers to the sky / With no connection

I sat there staring at this song for a while.  “Phantom Limb” really cracked my top 5?  There had to be some mistake.  I looked back over the list of songs for 2007.  Yeah, there’s nothing else I would really want to replace it with.  I’m starting to see why I’ve migrated to country music in recent years.  Don’t get me wrong; I like this song.  I’ll sing along with the ooooooh waoooo waoooo's as much as the next guy.  It just doesn’t seem like top 5 material.  I associate it with the time I was between jobs after college and not doing much of anything with my life.  I was, at least, working out on a regular basis with my friend Tom and I recall this song being queued up on his playlist shuffle.  But the weird thing is that I was already working at Applied when the single was released so my memory must be off.  I had never seen the video for this song until writing this piece.  If you like little kids dramatically re-enacting the burning of Joan of Arc and the Spanish conquest of the Aztecs, this video is for you.  The band’s lead singer described the song as “a hypothetical, fictional account of a young, lesbian couple in high school dealing with the shitty small town they live in.”  Alright then.

4. “Misery Business” – Paramore

I'm in the business of misery / Let's take it from the top / She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock / It's a matter of time before we all run out

Hayley Williams is cute in her own right, even with her bizarre hair color.  She’s not I’d-crawl-through-a-mile-of-broken-glass-on-my-hands-and-knees-just-to-jerk-off-in-her-shadow cute but she’s I’d-let-her-cut-me-in-line-at-the-grocery-store cute.  How someone so tiny can produce such a powerful voice is beyond me.  Riot! is a pretty solid album worth a listen if you get a chance. 

3. “Your Guardian Angel” – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Use me as you will / Pull my strings just for a thrill / And I know I'll be okay / Though my skies are turning gray

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ Don’t You Fake It album produced several enjoyable singles, including this one.  “False Pretense” is a great workout song I can use to get pumped up.  “Your Guardian Angel” is not, but I like the slow acoustic buildup to the eventual rock part of the song.  Since 2007 doesn’t offer a lot musically for me to write about, I’m going to share another story that probably happened around this time.

Let me preface this story by saying the main character is truly one of a kind.  I guarantee you don’t know anyone quite like Timmy K in your circle of friends.  Chances are you won’t fully appreciate this unless you know him but I’ll do my best with my limited writing abilities to paint the picture.  We went out to Jamerson’s in Joliet to celebrate someone’s birthday.  Tim doesn’t like to drink unless we pressure him into it.   As such, he is often a good choice as the DD.  On this particular night, we coerced him into having a Captain & Coke.  We knew we’d be there for a few hours and this was early in the night.  Tim was only able to finish half of the drink.  Tim is someone who likes to talk…a lot…and really fast.  You might be inclined to think he’s the tipsy one when, in fact, he’s the only one who isn’t.  An officer certainly did.  On our way home on I-80, Tim was driving. My brother was in the passenger seat while I was sitting in the back along with my sister’s boyfriend.  I saw a cop car pulled off to the side of the road a few hundred yards before our exit.  I distinctly remember thinking to suggest that Tim get in the left lane as a courtesy, but not specifically because it was a cop.  It was so close to our exit though that I decided to remain quiet.  As we pull off the interstate, we see the lights start flashing behind us.  The officer approaches the car and the situation unfolds like this (the words in parentheses are what I was thinking).

Officer:  Are you aware of Scott’s Law?  (What the heck is he talking about?  I’m sure we’re about to find out though.)

Tim:  No, sir.

Officer:  If there is an officer pulled over on the side of the road and you are able to safely get over in the other lane, you must do so by law.

Tim:  I, uh, didn’t know that.

Officer:  So where you guys coming from?

Tim says nothing and looks to Dan for assistance. (That’s right, officer.  We have nothing to hide here.)

Dan:  (like he’s talking to a child) The officer is talking to you, Tim.

Tim:  (sounding unsure of himself) Jameson’s

Officer:  (casually) Oh yeah, the bar.  So have you boys been drinking any?

Tim:  A little

Officer:  (eyebrow raised) What’s a little?

Tim:  (clearly flustered) Half a Captain (And?...Annnd?...He means Captain AND Coke...Dear god, Tim, finish the sentence.)

Officer:  Sir, I need you to step out of the car.

Unfortunately, we can’t hear the rest of the conversation between Tim and the officer.  I can only go on what Tim told us after the fact.  We do see Tim “walk the line” and appear to take the breathalyzer test a couple times.  He comes back to the car trying to act all cool but is obviously still shaken.

Dan:  So what happened?  You took a breathalyzer test it looked like.

Tim:  (sounding really, really proud of himself) Yeah, I aced that thing.

Dan:  What did you blow?

Tim:  Zero point zero zero.

As we all take a moment to let that sink in and begin to start dying of laughter, Tim continues.

Tim:  Yeah, the officer was sure there was a glitch so he made me blow again.  Still nothing.  He wrote me a ticket for the Scott’s Law thing and then told me to get my ass out of here. (Yeah, he’s probably pissed because he was all ready to drop the hammer with the DUI.)

We begin to drive home but Tim is white-knuckling the steering wheel.  He’s clearly bothered by the whole experience.  After less than a mile, he pulls over and my sister’s boyfriend drove the rest of the way home.  The positioning of the cop so close to our exit and the timing of us passing him were really bad luck.  He had just finished the interaction with the previous person he had pulled over.  A minute or two earlier and he would’ve still been tied up with the other person.  A minute or two later and he’d have been long gone.  That’s the kind of luck and timing that would afflict me but I was just an observer this time.  Timmy K – perhaps the only person to ever blow triple zero and I’m proud to say I was there for it. 

Although it doesn’t directly impact the preceding story, driving is another one of Tim’s skill sets that could use some refining.  I could give you a few of those stories too but I’ll give you this picture of a park job he did for our annual Labor Day party (although I’m sure it was for shock value as much as anything).

2. “Snow (Hey Oh)” – Red Hot Chili Peppers

When will I know that I really can't go / To the well once more time to decide on / When it's killing me, when will I really see / All that I need to look inside?

RHCP just keeps rolling along, don’t they?  I feel like they’ll still be producing music when I’m 50, essentially making them my generation’s version of the Rolling Stones.  I wouldn’t place them amongst my favorite groups but they’ve contributed as much to my music library as anybody else I suppose.  The 2-disc release of Stadium Arcadium is the only full album I have by the Chili Peppers.   As for the thoughts evoked with this particular song, there is something refreshing about a fresh blanket of white, fallen snow.  It’s like a blank canvas you get to start over with.  Every time I’m the one who screws up a relationship (which is every time), I try to convince myself that I’ll get another chance to construct my masterpiece.  The problem is that I don’t really understand art and I suck at it.  I’ve stumbled upon several different ways to screw up my relationships while trying to play Picasso; I never cease to amaze myself in that regard.  Maybe next time I just need to throw some splotches down and call it done.  That’s considered abstract art these days, right?  Explain to me how in the hell that qualifies as… oh, never mind.

1. “Breath” – Breaking Benjamin

You take the breath right out of me / You left a hole where my heart should be

I’m sure we’ve all felt this way at one time or another.  “Breath” would certainly be included on my designated coping playlist.  Breaking Benjamin makes my top 5 for the 3^rd year in a row.  They’re the only group that can stake such a claim across all the Q101 years.  I’m not sure if that’s a testament to them or a by-product of the declining alternative music industry I was finding myself in.  This is a great song that deserves more words of praise but I’m ready to leave this disappointing year behind us.