I’m incredibly paranoid (shocker, I know). My fear is that I’m going to engage you at a
most inopportune time. Perhaps you were
just getting ready to leave your desk.
If you are making an unplanned departure from your desk, there really is
no way for me to know that. It doesn’t
ease my nerves but I’ve learned to chalk it up to my unlucky tendencies. At least if you have a meeting upcoming, the
additional information provided by Lync will tip me off. It’s those times that you really are busy but
show as available which irk me. That pit
of quicksand is completely avoidable if you’d just cooperate a little bit.
If you’re green, the expectation is that I’ll be met with
some sort of acknowledgment in a reasonable time frame. I also hope to have a reasonable amount of
your attention; I’ll factor in the possibility that you have simultaneous
conversations going. This road travels
in both directions. That is my promise
to you when engaging an available me. Any
topic is fair game. We can discuss
anything you like, from your stupid adorable cats to your disdain over
the actions of a boss or fellow co-worker.
So when should you be available? Whenever any situation you see below does not
apply. It’s pretty simple.
Busy
You will see some people utilize the busy status for its
intended purpose and I tip my cap to you good folks. Most, however, are only busy when the status
defaults for them as a result of a meeting they’re in. That, of course, is standard protocol, but I
guess I’d like to see more busy people. Additionally,
these same people often lazily cling to the busy status even after their
meeting has ended and they’re truly available again.
It should go without saying but there are times when each of
us has got shit to do. I don’t know
about you but…I’m kind of a big deal. I
am busy from time to time and I’ll let you know about it. It is, however, perfectly acceptable to
interrupt a busy person if it’s a work-related matter. Ultimately, that’s what where all there to
do, right? Depending on the person and
their current situation, I may not get my answer, but I’ll still try. I can say that I will never fault someone for
asking me anything at any time that will help them perform their job.
Less scrupulous people might choose to appear busy when it’s
not the case. It’s hard to definitively
prove how busy someone actually is so there’s little downside to showing
yourself as such from time to time. Some
co-workers may become jealous of your work ethic but others (a boss perhaps)
may grow to admire it. He’s still
busy? He must really have a lot of work
because he’s not even making himself available to talk. What a dedicated worker. You know it.
That Penske file isn’t going to take care of itself. George Costanza would be proud.
Over the years, I’ve adopted a policy of making myself busy
when I don’t really feel like talking to people. I’ll appreciate you not calling me out on it
either. Contrary to what you may
believe, there are times I really don’t want to hear about Garfield or your
workplace nemesis. Perhaps I’m having a
rough day or feeling particularly sorry for myself. I can’t go completely off the grid so I have
to take some preventative measures. I
never know when someone will remember how fantastic my back and forth banter
truly is and want a piece of it.
Being busy should
be a suitable deterrent to unwanted solicitors.
The indicator is even a red stop sign albeit one that’s missing a few
sides. Unfortunately, there are a lot of
awful drivers out there. They blow right
through the sign as if the rules don’t apply to them. They do so at their own risk and must suffer
whatever consequences come their way.
You reserve the right to be less than cordial to them or ignore them
altogether. These are horrible people
who you don’t need to be associated with anyway.
Of course, we all have certain people in our workplace who
have the eternal green light to engage us even when busy. At the very least, they should have an
eternal yield sign. It’s like this
ridiculous stop sign out by my parent’s house.
I’ve blown through that sign a million times because 98 times out of 100
there’s nothing coming in either direction.
It’s a quiet country road; I’ll stop when I need to. The privileged few who enjoy these extra
rights are your close friends or that person you have a crush on. You make exceptions for them and that’s well
within your right. Prevailing liberal
propaganda may try to trick us into believing that everybody should be equal. Don’t buy into it. America is great because that’s not the case.
I love the “busy” status because it serves many purposes and
can help you reach a desired end. When
you get right down to it, you’re doing everybody a favor by showing yourself as
busy.
Do Not Disturb
Of the 4 colors in the IM rainbow, the one for DND is
definitely the one you see the least. Don’t
you always feel a small surge of supremacy when selecting this status? Conversely, it’s perfectly normal to feel
jealous or annoyed when you see someone else who simply cannot be
disturbed. They think it’s just putting
the rest of the IM universe on notice that distractions are not allowed. But you know better what they’re really
saying. Working-on-some-super-secret-project-much-more-important-than-anything-you-could-ever-possibly-understand-or-be-involved-with.
There are certainly occasions when do not disturb
applies. It is an absolute must when you
are presenting anything, especially when you are sharing your computer screen
for others to view. The last thing
anybody wants is a little NSFW message popping up from a friend. You can’t ignore or close that window fast
enough; those words are burned in everyone’s mind. Noooo,
boss, that remark was taken completely out of context. No-talent hack is a
compliment in this sense. I should
probably start looking for a box, shouldn’t I?
DND is also a more severe tactic that can be employed when
you don’t feel like chatting. It’s
certainly more effective but not without its drawbacks. The people who desperately need to reach you for
something cannot do so. Sure, they can
send an email marked as high importance but there’s no guarantee it makes your
radar. As such, I don’t advertise using DND
for this purpose but it is an option I suppose.
DND can be used to express extreme dissatisfaction with another
party. It’s the proverbial door getting
slammed in your face. Sometimes “I HATE
YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE.” just doesn’t do the trick. I’ve only had this happen to me once (KJ) and
I think it takes a certain level of bitch or asshole to go there. It’s a short-sighted response because your knee-jerk
reaction to one person has now negatively impacted the rest. Regardless of how you use it, Do Not Disturb
is not for the faint of heart.
Be Right Back
This status gets lost in the shuffle and I find it to be
vastly underused and underappreciated.
It’s just another form of being away you may protest. While that’s true, it’s also a more accurate
representation of your situation. When
you are away, there’s no timeline for your return. A co-worker may have a pressing question and
you may be the best person to provide the answer. If they knew you were going to be back
shortly, they can rest assured knowing that they will be able to ask their question in
a few minutes. If you’re merely “away”,
they might be better served reaching out to someone else.
One potential problem with this status stems from differing
opinions of what “right back” really means.
Generally speaking, anything less than 6 minutes is an acceptable time of
absence for this status. Going to the
bathroom? Be right back. Stopping by a co-worker’s cube to answer a
work-related question? Probably be right
back, unless that question is related to anything about sharing revenue or
allocating internal broker expenses.
Stopping by a co-worker’s cube to shoot the breeze? NOT be right back. Patrolling the office to ensure there hasn’t
been a security breach of the perimeter? Definitely NOT be right back.
If you aren’t sure about the duration of your absence, it’s
probably best to err on the side of caution.
Nobody likes to be misled in the waiting game, like that girl who was
supposed to call or text you after she was done washing her hair. Who is
she? Rapunzel? If you habitually
misuse this status, your time management skills come into question and that’s
no way to get ahead in the corporate world.
Off Work
Here’s another status that you rarely see selected. I won’t champion its usage as strongly as BRB
because its effectiveness is fairly limited.
Most people who might see this status are probably gone for the day themselves. Furthermore, given the time of day, most
people can reasonably assume that your “away” means “gone for the day.” Do you
even use this status then, Dave? I’m
glad you asked. Of course I do, but I’m
better than you. I can’t very well
expect you to follow my lead by setting a poor example.
Let’s say you are engaged in a conversation with a co-worker
late in the day. You might also be one
of those jerks who do not offer a goodbye to officially end the
proceedings. Your co-worker may be left
wondering, ‘Are we done here?’ Notifying
the other party that you are indeed off work with a simple status selection
does not excuse your lack of courtesy but it does answer their question. It’s the least you can do for them.
The best thing about this status is that it isn’t open to
interpretation. There is exactly one
time of the day when it should be selected.
I will offer one word of caution about this status if your clocks are
set to Younker time and punctuality isn’t exactly your thing. You may be “off work” at the end of the day
and not think twice about it. Just
remember that your status will stay that way until you change it the next
morning. If your boss hawks your arrival
time, do you really want him or her to know you haven’t managed to make it into
the office yet?
Appear Away
The mere name of this status bothers me. Do I read way too much into things? Yes I do.
Do I pose questions and then answer them myself? Yes I do.
I don’t want to “appear” as anything.
Either I’m away from my desk or I’m not.
Fortunately, the actual status only displays as “away."
Being away may provide the perfect out for a conversation
you’d like to gracefully back out of. If
you’re a nice guy like me, you don’t want to feel the burden of uncomfortably
informing the other party that you’d no longer like to talk to them. Just put yourself as away for a while and
continue working as normal. That often
derails the conversation. When you
regain availability, the conversation momentum has been lost and the other
person has probably moved on. If they
persist with the undesired messages, you may need to take more drastic measures
(see above).
There really isn’t a whole lot else that needs to be said
about this status. You should use it
when one of the other yellow statuses does not apply.
So now you’re a bit more educated about how to use the Lync
instant messenger program. If you could
all start following these rules, that would be greaaaaat. I knew you’d see it my way. I am, however, a slave to logic. If anything I’ve said here doesn’t make sense
or if you have additional scenarios for when a particular status could apply,
feel free to enlighten me. I could be
wrong, but I am wearing glasses right now.
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