Q101: 2008

How did we get here?

2008 (Or, the year even old favorites such as Foo Fighters, Weezer, or Linkin Park couldn’t relight the extinguished flame of alternative music that once guided me through life)

5. “Breakdown” – Seether

So break me down if it makes your feel right / And hate me now if it keeps you alright

Seether finds itself on my countdowns more often than I would have guessed.  I’m definitely going to cite subpar competition as the reason for their inclusion in this particular installment.  2008 offers a slightly better top 5 than 2007 but the year’s overall contribution shall not stand the test of time.  I could go about 15 deep on my 2008 rankings and any of those songs could make the top 5 depending on the day you asked.  I ultimately settled on “Breakdown” because it was my favorite (at the time) of the 3 Seether songs I put in the top 15.  Thus, I felt something off the Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces album deserved some recognition.  Fun fact (opinion?):  it’s been said the song is about Shaun Morgan’s ex, Amy Lee of Evanescence.

4. “Sometime Around Midnight” – The Airborne Toxic Event

And all of these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind / Of the curl of your bodies, like two perfect circles entwined / And you feel hopeless, and homeless, and lost in the haze of the wine

“Sometime Around Midnight” has made a slow, steady ascent up my personal charts from when I first heard it.  I find myself gaining a stronger appreciation for what it represents as I mature.  There is a certain trendy coolness that I’ve decided accompanies the song.  In my mind, I’ve validated myself among the musical snobs by including it in my top 5.  It’s pretty much the exact opposite effect of including another Nickelback song (I only had one!).  The song was written by the lead singer in isolation after seeing a former girlfriend at a bar and discovering he still had feelings for her.  I haven’t decided if the singer has eloquently described the situation unfolding around him in perfect detail or if he’s swept up by a suffocating paranoia.  Either way, I think it’s brilliant.  These are exactly the sort of thoughts my imagination would invent.  Is she going out of her way to make sure I see her or am I so fixated on her that I can see nothing else?  That’s just a sampling of the mess my brain always seems to find itself in.

3. “Calling All Skeletons” – Alkaline Trio

Here it is again yet it stings like the first time / Seems it never ends, double nickels on your dime / I thought we were friends, I guess it just depends who you ask / These feelings tend to leave me with a hole in my chest

It’s my belief that Alkaline Trio probably got more play on Q101 than they did nationally simply because they’re a local band.  That’s a shame because their work is good enough to demand a larger audience.  Agony & Irony is a pretty solid album top to bottom.  I so wish “Love Love, Kiss Kiss” had made Q101’s list because that’s a song I’ve drank away many a lonely night to.  It’s playing in my head every time I go a wedding or see a public display of affection on my Facebook feed.  It’s nothing against the happy couple.  My feelings of melancholy and jealousy do not discriminate.  I’ll wish you and your significant other a long and prosperous future together and I will truly mean it because I don’t seek to deny anyone the right to be happy.  However, if a war ever broke out between the Singles and the Relationships, I’ll proudly fight side by side along the throngs of my tribe.  We may be friends in times of peace, but I’ll thrust my bayonet deep into your chest should we come face to face on the battlefield.  I wonder which side would be favored in such an epic clash.  One side has something tangible to fight for while the other side has a cause and feelings of oppression spurring it onward.  The Relationships will have the advantage of teamwork, but the Singles have developed a sense of adaptation that would translate well in the trenches.  I should probably stop now before my “taken” friends start to fear for their lives.  You two make a great couple!  Don’t you think Alkaline Trio is an underrated group?!  They don’t make you think about killing at all! .... Um, sure, Dave, they’re alright. I, uh, just remembered I left the, uh, door to the, uh, parakeet cage slightly ajar and I need to go make sure the bird hasn’t flown away. … But you don’t own any pets. … I’m bird-sitting for my next door neighbor.  … But your next door neighbors don’t own any pets.  I’ve met them, remember? … Gotta go.

2. “Love Me Dead” – Ludo

Love me cancerously, like a salt sore soaked in the sea / High maintenance means you’re a gluttonous queen, narcissistic and mean

After watching the video for this song, I came to the conclusion that these guys had a ton of fun making that video and I’m convinced the lead singer could launch a successful career on the Broadway stage if he so chose.  I just think they’d be some cool guys to hang out with.  I was glad when Mandie included this song in her ’08 top 5 and her stories seemed to confirm my thoughts about the group.  The posted lyrics for “Love Me Dead” are just a small example of the eerie serenading often exhibited in a Ludo song.  You really need to listen to “The Horror of Our Love” for a complete appreciation of the band.  You will never hear love described in such a beautifully creepy manner.  Both songs are off the You’re Awful, I Love You album (did you expect a different title?), which earns my full endorsement.  I worked the Sunday morning shift at Sports Authority for several years and was responsible for setting part of the weekly sales ad.  We started pretty early in the morning and the employees were granted control of the music until the store opened.  I had some Ludo songs on my mix CDs and I remember being extremely self-conscious whenever something like “The Horror of Our Love” came on.  I just knew I was going to have explain myself for what I was subjecting these people’s ears to.  It ranks right up there with the orgasmic beginning of White Zombie’s “More Human Than Human.”  Fortunately, nobody is really listening to the lyrics of anything at 6 in the morning.  Ludo – what a weird little band. 

1. “Cath…” – Death Cab For Cutie

The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews / But if their hearts were dying that fast / They'd have done the same as you / And I'd have done the same as you

I first became aware of Ben Gibbard through his side work with The Postal Service.  It was solid stuff but nothing game-changing.  I guess that’s how I feel about Death Cab.  “Cath…” fought off some weak competition to claim the top spot of 2008.  I sympathize with the song’s subject, a woman who is marrying out of desperation.  He isn’t her ideal suitor but she recognizes the clock is ticking.  I realize that my clock is ticking; I’m not 21 anymore.  No, I’m not looking to get married tomorrow or even in the next few months.  If you know one thing about me, it’s that I never rush into anything.  It takes me a while to find somebody I like and often even longer to work up the courage to ask them out, if ever.  I’m getting better at it…I think.  I can’t possibly imagine how long it would take me to arrive at a proposal.  I guess I’ve just finally reached a point in my life where marriage is something I’d like to at least pretend I’m working towards.  I guess the one difference between Cath and I is that I won’t marry out of desperation.  If it doesn’t happen, then I’ll accept that.  There is no rule that says happiness comes from marriage; I’m just taking my best guess, like everyone else, at how to achieve it for myself.  I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know that it’s short-sighted to close the door on any potential outcomes simply because it’s convenient to do so.  You have to allow for change in yourself and you have to be willing to let things happen to you.  

Q101: 2007

How did we get here?

2007 (Or, the year alternative music careened off a cliff and could no longer be my sole provider of audio goodness)

5. “Phantom Limb” – The Shins

So when they tap our Monday heads / Two zombies walk in our stead / This town seems hardly worth the time / And we'll no longer memorize or rhyme / Too far along in our climb / Stepping over what now towers to the sky / With no connection

I sat there staring at this song for a while.  “Phantom Limb” really cracked my top 5?  There had to be some mistake.  I looked back over the list of songs for 2007.  Yeah, there’s nothing else I would really want to replace it with.  I’m starting to see why I’ve migrated to country music in recent years.  Don’t get me wrong; I like this song.  I’ll sing along with the ooooooh waoooo waoooo's as much as the next guy.  It just doesn’t seem like top 5 material.  I associate it with the time I was between jobs after college and not doing much of anything with my life.  I was, at least, working out on a regular basis with my friend Tom and I recall this song being queued up on his playlist shuffle.  But the weird thing is that I was already working at Applied when the single was released so my memory must be off.  I had never seen the video for this song until writing this piece.  If you like little kids dramatically re-enacting the burning of Joan of Arc and the Spanish conquest of the Aztecs, this video is for you.  The band’s lead singer described the song as “a hypothetical, fictional account of a young, lesbian couple in high school dealing with the shitty small town they live in.”  Alright then.

4. “Misery Business” – Paramore

I'm in the business of misery / Let's take it from the top / She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock / It's a matter of time before we all run out

Hayley Williams is cute in her own right, even with her bizarre hair color.  She’s not I’d-crawl-through-a-mile-of-broken-glass-on-my-hands-and-knees-just-to-jerk-off-in-her-shadow cute but she’s I’d-let-her-cut-me-in-line-at-the-grocery-store cute.  How someone so tiny can produce such a powerful voice is beyond me.  Riot! is a pretty solid album worth a listen if you get a chance. 

3. “Your Guardian Angel” – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Use me as you will / Pull my strings just for a thrill / And I know I'll be okay / Though my skies are turning gray

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ Don’t You Fake It album produced several enjoyable singles, including this one.  “False Pretense” is a great workout song I can use to get pumped up.  “Your Guardian Angel” is not, but I like the slow acoustic buildup to the eventual rock part of the song.  Since 2007 doesn’t offer a lot musically for me to write about, I’m going to share another story that probably happened around this time.

Let me preface this story by saying the main character is truly one of a kind.  I guarantee you don’t know anyone quite like Timmy K in your circle of friends.  Chances are you won’t fully appreciate this unless you know him but I’ll do my best with my limited writing abilities to paint the picture.  We went out to Jamerson’s in Joliet to celebrate someone’s birthday.  Tim doesn’t like to drink unless we pressure him into it.   As such, he is often a good choice as the DD.  On this particular night, we coerced him into having a Captain & Coke.  We knew we’d be there for a few hours and this was early in the night.  Tim was only able to finish half of the drink.  Tim is someone who likes to talk…a lot…and really fast.  You might be inclined to think he’s the tipsy one when, in fact, he’s the only one who isn’t.  An officer certainly did.  On our way home on I-80, Tim was driving. My brother was in the passenger seat while I was sitting in the back along with my sister’s boyfriend.  I saw a cop car pulled off to the side of the road a few hundred yards before our exit.  I distinctly remember thinking to suggest that Tim get in the left lane as a courtesy, but not specifically because it was a cop.  It was so close to our exit though that I decided to remain quiet.  As we pull off the interstate, we see the lights start flashing behind us.  The officer approaches the car and the situation unfolds like this (the words in parentheses are what I was thinking).

Officer:  Are you aware of Scott’s Law?  (What the heck is he talking about?  I’m sure we’re about to find out though.)

Tim:  No, sir.

Officer:  If there is an officer pulled over on the side of the road and you are able to safely get over in the other lane, you must do so by law.

Tim:  I, uh, didn’t know that.

Officer:  So where you guys coming from?

Tim says nothing and looks to Dan for assistance. (That’s right, officer.  We have nothing to hide here.)

Dan:  (like he’s talking to a child) The officer is talking to you, Tim.

Tim:  (sounding unsure of himself) Jameson’s

Officer:  (casually) Oh yeah, the bar.  So have you boys been drinking any?

Tim:  A little

Officer:  (eyebrow raised) What’s a little?

Tim:  (clearly flustered) Half a Captain (And?...Annnd?...He means Captain AND Coke...Dear god, Tim, finish the sentence.)

Officer:  Sir, I need you to step out of the car.

Unfortunately, we can’t hear the rest of the conversation between Tim and the officer.  I can only go on what Tim told us after the fact.  We do see Tim “walk the line” and appear to take the breathalyzer test a couple times.  He comes back to the car trying to act all cool but is obviously still shaken.

Dan:  So what happened?  You took a breathalyzer test it looked like.

Tim:  (sounding really, really proud of himself) Yeah, I aced that thing.

Dan:  What did you blow?

Tim:  Zero point zero zero.

As we all take a moment to let that sink in and begin to start dying of laughter, Tim continues.

Tim:  Yeah, the officer was sure there was a glitch so he made me blow again.  Still nothing.  He wrote me a ticket for the Scott’s Law thing and then told me to get my ass out of here. (Yeah, he’s probably pissed because he was all ready to drop the hammer with the DUI.)

We begin to drive home but Tim is white-knuckling the steering wheel.  He’s clearly bothered by the whole experience.  After less than a mile, he pulls over and my sister’s boyfriend drove the rest of the way home.  The positioning of the cop so close to our exit and the timing of us passing him were really bad luck.  He had just finished the interaction with the previous person he had pulled over.  A minute or two earlier and he would’ve still been tied up with the other person.  A minute or two later and he’d have been long gone.  That’s the kind of luck and timing that would afflict me but I was just an observer this time.  Timmy K – perhaps the only person to ever blow triple zero and I’m proud to say I was there for it. 

Although it doesn’t directly impact the preceding story, driving is another one of Tim’s skill sets that could use some refining.  I could give you a few of those stories too but I’ll give you this picture of a park job he did for our annual Labor Day party (although I’m sure it was for shock value as much as anything).

2. “Snow (Hey Oh)” – Red Hot Chili Peppers

When will I know that I really can't go / To the well once more time to decide on / When it's killing me, when will I really see / All that I need to look inside?

RHCP just keeps rolling along, don’t they?  I feel like they’ll still be producing music when I’m 50, essentially making them my generation’s version of the Rolling Stones.  I wouldn’t place them amongst my favorite groups but they’ve contributed as much to my music library as anybody else I suppose.  The 2-disc release of Stadium Arcadium is the only full album I have by the Chili Peppers.   As for the thoughts evoked with this particular song, there is something refreshing about a fresh blanket of white, fallen snow.  It’s like a blank canvas you get to start over with.  Every time I’m the one who screws up a relationship (which is every time), I try to convince myself that I’ll get another chance to construct my masterpiece.  The problem is that I don’t really understand art and I suck at it.  I’ve stumbled upon several different ways to screw up my relationships while trying to play Picasso; I never cease to amaze myself in that regard.  Maybe next time I just need to throw some splotches down and call it done.  That’s considered abstract art these days, right?  Explain to me how in the hell that qualifies as… oh, never mind.

1. “Breath” – Breaking Benjamin

You take the breath right out of me / You left a hole where my heart should be

I’m sure we’ve all felt this way at one time or another.  “Breath” would certainly be included on my designated coping playlist.  Breaking Benjamin makes my top 5 for the 3^rd year in a row.  They’re the only group that can stake such a claim across all the Q101 years.  I’m not sure if that’s a testament to them or a by-product of the declining alternative music industry I was finding myself in.  This is a great song that deserves more words of praise but I’m ready to leave this disappointing year behind us.

Q101: 2006

How did we get here?

2006 (Or, the year I started to notice some chinks in the alternative music armor)

5. “Lips Of An Angel” – Hinder

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name / It sounds so sweet / Coming from the lips of an angel / Hearing those words it makes me weak

We all know the song is about sweet, seductive infidelity with a former love but the lyrics aren’t why I enjoy listening to it.  I may have a lot of faults as a potential boyfriend but being unfaithful would never be one of them.  Besides, I have a different word association for this song: racquetball.  When “Lips of an Angel” came out, my friend Tom and I played racquetball at Governors State on a semi-regular basis. I really enjoy playing tennis and this was the best alternative in the winter.  If your opponent in racquetball impedes your ability to make a play on the ball, you are allowed to claim a “hinder”, which essentially allows for a redo.  Naturally, this happened on a few occasions.  We eventually made the connection between that call and the band.  One day, one of us decided to belt out the lyric “It’s really good to hear your voice” in substitution of “hinder.”  From that point forward, it became mandatory to use that line whenever you wanted to claim a hindrance, and you had to do it in a grungy voice so as to imitate the lead singer.  I really do miss those days; I never get to play racquetball, or tennis for that matter, anymore.

4. “Chasing Cars” – Snow Patrol

If I lay here/ If I just lay here / Would you lie with me / And just forget the world?

Have you ever heard a song that you just knew was going to explode?  I first heard this song on TV during a promo for Grey’s Anatomy.  I’ve never watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy but I knew it was fairly popular.  I knew the prime time TV exposure that “Chasing Cars” had just received was going to catapult it across the airwaves.  Its inclusion on a list of alternative music is a bit questionable but that demonstrates the kind of crossover power the song possessed.  A variety of stations and entertainment venues played the song…all the time.  That type of force-feeding will often turn people off a song.  It’s the rebellious little kid in all of us.  Oh, I’m supposed to like this song?  Is that why you keep playing it?  Well, screw you.  I’m an original.  There may have even been a time when I too was sick of “Chasing Cars” but I came back once the song ran through its course.  It must be something about the slow, dreamy buildup that whisks me away.  There’s a romantic notion of lying there next to someone when nothing else matters except the two of you together and that very moment.  I’d like to believe that I can capture that essence one day.  Until then, I’ll keep chasing after it.

3. “Rooftops” – Lostprophets

When our time is up / When our lives are done / Will we say we've had our fun / Will we make a mark this time / Will we always say we tried

Who among us hasn’t wanted to stand on a rooftop and scream their heart out?  My generation is here to stay and now you know.  I don’t have any deep personal connection with this song so I’ll instead focus on an adventure that occurred in 2006: my first trip to a strip club.  A group of us from the softball team I was on at the time decided we needed to cross this off our bucket list.  Our destination was The Silver Slipper Saloon.  As I mentioned in 2004’s installment, the team was comprised of people from Peotone and Braidwood.  Some of the Braidwood guys were pretty nerdy, even by my standards.  There was a draw to see who would be forced to ride in the “other” car with those guys and my prevailing luck naturally saw to it that I would be that person.  After a lengthy ride of listening to conversation about computers and online gaming, I was ready to see some naked ladies.  I had no idea what the pricing structure would be but I brought in a set amount of cash that I hoped would be enough to last the entire night.  I wisely left my wallet in the car so I wouldn’t be tempted into spending an exorbitant amount of money.  Even before I got in, I was forced to dip into my funds.  It turned out that one of the “other” guys hadn’t brought any cash with him (say what?) and therefore couldn’t meet the cover charge.  I covered him because I’m a nice guy and didn’t want anyone to be deprived of a little fun.  Incidentally, this is the same guy who later refused a lap dance because “he was driving.”  Gee, I’m sure glad I helped you get in.  Why exactly did you come?  A portly fellow from our group named Hipple was the first one to receive a lap dance.  As we curiously watched from a distance, he and the stripper sat there and they were…talking?  What the hell could they possibly be talking about we all asked aloud.  Is she an online gamer too?  As newbies, none of us were really sure how the transaction was supposed to be completed but we knew a step or two had to be missing.  It wasn’t until Hipple returned that we discovered dances are by the song so she had to wait until the next song began.  I’m sure I was probably the thousandth person to think I was being clever when I suggested that someone request something like “Freebird” before my lap dance.  I made it through the night on my predetermined budget; I didn’t need to run out to the car after 30 minutes to grab my debit card but I saw it happen.  I found that it was more cost effective to sit by the stage shelling out singles or fives rather than receive individual lap dances.  I even got to sit next to someone who bore a striking resemblance to 50 Cent.  I can say I had a good time but I don’t really have any desire to do it again.  I went just once more the following year and I’ve turned down countless other offers to go since.  You just feel so…unclean…coming out of those places.  I’d need to do some volunteer work just to cleanse my soul and appease my conscience.  Plus, let’s be real.  A little piece of me dies every time I open my wallet.  Sorry, strippers, I’ve decided you’re not worth it.  P.S. Mom, I'm still a good kid.

2. “The Diary Of Jane” – Breaking Benjamin

As I burn another page / As I look the other way / I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane / So tell me how it should be

This is my favorite Breaking Benjamin song.  I liked it immediately from the sound to the lyrics.  I feel bad that I don’t have any interesting story related to share about this song, but I’ve already written a lot above so I can guess I’ve earned the right to breeze through this one.  I will say that anytime someone devotes the time to write about you, either directly or by reference, I think that’s a pretty cool thing.  I’m not talking about a few thoughtless sentences on Facebook that any hack could compose in a matter of minutes.  I mean an actual entry into something like a private diary or online blog.  Writing is a form of expressing yourself and the subject matter should feel honored that they had enough of an impact to make it onto the pages of someone’s work.  You don't come across many people who write out their thoughts and feelings these days unless they're trying to make some money out of it.  You certainly don't see many guys who do it, and I like to think that sets me apart.  Maybe in a good way, maybe in a bad way.  You can decide. 

1. “Over My Head (Cable Car)” – The Fray

I never knew that everything was falling through / That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue / To turn and run when all I needed was the truth / But that's how it's got to be / It's coming down to nothing more than apathy

I play the song when courting a  girl or preparing for a date with one as a means of reverse psychology to convince myself that I’m actually not in over my head.  Contrary to what the lyrics may lead you to believe, the song isn't about a relationship with a woman.  It's about lead singer Isaac Slade’s other brother (nicknamed Cable Car) with whom he’d had a falling out.  You mean all those times I was incorrectly applying the song?  No!  I won’t accept that.  Tom and I both came to the conclusion that this song had tremendous staying power.  It’s the kind of song I could hear a hundred times and never tire of, and I never have.  By comparison, The Fray’s follow-up single, “How to Save a Life”, followed the aforementioned path of “Chasing Cars”.  Their self-titled album is one that I often find myself coming back to.  I think I’m a sucker for alternative music infused with a piano.  Perhaps it’s because I’ve always had a dream of learning that instrument.  If “Over My Head” comes on when I’m listening to music at work, you’ll likely see me tapping my fingers on the desk as if I’m playing the piano along with the song.  It’s often an involuntary action; I hear the song and my fingers go to work.  Fun fact:  the kid in the video is actually Slade’s younger brother.  

Q101: 2005

How did we get here?

2005 (Or, the year Fall Out Boy became so much more than a sidekick to Radioactive Man)

5. “Sooner Or Later” – Breaking Benjamin

Sooner or later / You're gonna hate it / Go ahead and throw our life away / Driving me under / Leaving me out there / Go ahead and throw our life away

First, I’d like to offer a tip of the cap to Green Day who put 2 songs into my top 10 for 2005.  Interestingly, “Sooner or Later” is one of three songs that Mandie I shared in our top 5 for this year (along with my #3 and #1).  Breaking Benjamin is just one of those groups I’m supposed to like, right? I’ve never heard an alternative music fan say anything negative about them.  I must admit that I haven’t dug much deeper into these guys than their singles.  Maybe I should because many of them rank highly on my personal lists.

4. “Photograph” – Nickelback

Every memory of lookin' out the back door / I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor / It's hard to say it / Time to say it / Good bye, good bye

Whoa, wait a minute.  A Nickelback song?!  I’m certainly not a Nickelback apologist, but I must interject before you roll your eyes and vehemently protest the remainder of this list or mini-series.  Somewhere along the line, Nickelback became this decade’s version of Creed.  It became trendy to bash them and point to their existence as everything that’s wrong with modern rock music.  You wouldn’t be caught dead listening to them.  Except that you probably did once upon a time.  You may run from your past but I’m not going to.  If you distance yourself from it, it’s like it never happened right?  Nickelback’s initial sound was too unrefined for my liking and now they are puppets of the blurred pop/rock radio sound (oops, there I go too).  But there was a window in there when All the Right Reasons was released that I appreciated their work.  It’s sort of appropriate that I get to discuss this song now.  As part of my move into my new house, I packed and unpacked various items that hadn’t been seen in years – high school yearbooks, basketball card collections, old jerseys from sports teams I played on.  Like most people, I paused to take a look and reflect.  Memories came flooding back in.  If you’re feeling particularly nostalgic, “Photograph” can accompany your trip down memory lane.  I could write you pages of stories from my past but, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

3. “Work” – Jimmy Eat World

Can't say I was never wrong / But some blame rests on you / Work and play they're never okay / To mix the way we do

I was pleased when this song snuck its way into Q101’s top 101 for this year because that meant that I got to include it here.  Futures is one of my favorite albums, and “Work” has always been a song that reassured me of myself.  The posted lyrics were always my justification for my rule of not dating co-workers.  Every good rule needs a supporting argument and I fashioned Jimmy Eat World were as good an expert as any to cite.  I’ve begun to revisit all of my rules recently.  I’ve even broken a couple of them; the results have been mixed but I regret nothing.  Maybe I’m turning a page in my life.  I even considered clearing the slate of strikes that people have accumulated and scrapping the system altogether, but that would be lunacy.  People MUST know there are consequences for their actions.  Turning a page?  Maybe not.

2. “Scars” – Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut / And my weakness is that I cared too much / And our scars remind us that the past is real / I tear my heart open just to feel

Fun fact:  Papa Roach lead singer Jacoby Shaddix credits this song as the one that saved his life after a particularly crazy night in Vegas.  It’s about trying to help someone who really doesn’t want the help.  We’ve all got our own scars from the past, so we can all relate to the song in some way.  Caring too much isn’t a fault I’ve typically been accused of.  I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never had my heart broken but that’s just another way of saying that I never really tried to let someone in.  To quote one of my favorite movies High Fidelity:  “I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open.  And that's suicide.  By tiny, tiny increments.”  My scars are far less visible to the naked eye but a million tiny paper cuts doesn’t hurt any less.  Anybody got any Band-Aids?  Never mind.  I’d be too stubborn to use them anyway.

1. “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” – Fall Out Boy

We're going down, down in an earlier round / And Sugar, we're going down swinging / I'll be your number one with a bullet / A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

I was looking someone to carry the torch forward and become a new go-to group.  One day, I saw the video for “Sugar We’re Goin Down” and I was amused by the story of a boy with antlers being looked at disapprovingly by his girlfriend’s father only to find out the father ended up having hooves himself.  More importantly, I took notice of the song itself and I wanted to know more about this band.  “Dance, Dance” and “A Little Less Sixteen Candles…” (which is a pretty cool video in its own right and deserves your time below) eventually satisfied my rule of 3 so From Under the Cork Tree was purchased.   It did not disappoint.   The album could be played in a variety of settings regardless of my mood.  I particularly enjoy listening to it this song while driving in the car with the windows down.  I also appreciated Fall Out Boy’s cheeky, verbose song titles, such as “Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued.”  A new go-to group had indeed emerged.

Q101: 2004

How did we get here?

2004 (Or, the year I realized that there was even a place for violins in my alternative music)

5. “Numb” – Linkin Park

I've become so numb / I can't feel you there / I've become so tired / So much more aware

The Meteora album ensured that the Linkin Park gravy train would roll on.  We craved more Linkin Park and they delivered.  Even Jay-Z recognized LP’s awesome power and did a collaboration album with them.  “Numb/Encore” was one of its more popular remixes, even making the Q101 countdown itself.  As someone often acutely aware of his surroundings but numbed to the point of inactivity, I can relate to the song.  Random thought:  the girl in the video was too attractive to be cast as the social pariah that she was.

4. “Broken” – Seether Feat. Amy Lee

The worst is over now and we can breathe again / I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away / There's so much left to learn and no one left to fight / I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

I don’t really have anything to say about the song so let’s try and link it to the time period instead.  It was right around 2004 when I started playing adult slow-pitch softball.  Half of the team at the time was from Braidwood so our men’s games were played in Godley.  Where the hell is that?  That’s exactly what we all asked.  It’s pretty remarkable that a town would have a park district and softball leagues when its only other buildings of significance were a post office and bar.  Speaking of that bar, it sponsored the local powerhouse team of the same name – Stumble Inn.  Many of us were not baseball players so there were some routine beatings in those early years, especially at the hands of Stumble Inn.  I particularly recall the time we were slaughtered by them in 3 innings and managed 1 hit ("1 god damn hit?" as Harry Doyle would say) and 1 walk (that was me, just sayin’).  These guys weren’t quick and athletic; they were big middle-aged biker dudes who knew they could just outslug you.  But we eventually got better over the next few years and became a .500 team.  We even managed to take Stumble Inn the full 7 innings losing by a respectable score.  We must have earned their respect because they even invited us back to their local establishment for some brews after that game.  The place was exactly as seedy as I had imagined.  I enjoyed my beer and shot some pool all while keeping an eye out for the shiv I was expecting to have jabbed into my side at any moment.  Anyway, the rides to and from Godley were lengthy so there was plenty of time to hear songs like “Broken.”  Our theme song, however, came from the movie EuroTrip, a cult favorite among me and my buddies.  It was mandatory that we backed out of our driveway with “Scotty Doesn’t Know” blaring.  It’s probably the best cameo work that Matt Damon has ever done.

3. “Breaking The Habit” – Linkin Park

I don't want to be the one / The battles always choose / 'Cause inside I realize / That I'm the one confused

A second showing in the top 5 in a strong year further validates Linkin Park’s greatness.  I think I took to this song immediately because it was a deviation from the other LP stuff we’d heard.  Mike Shinoda’s background rapping was absent and the music had a different sound to it.  (That doesn’t make the other stuff bad if that’s what I was implying.)  If you like Japanese animation, this video is for you.

2. “Vindicated” – Dashboard Confessional

Vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right / I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along / And I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well / I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Yeah, another Dashboard song.  Let me have it.  I’m confident enough in my manhood these days to stand up and admit that I like this song.  That wasn’t always the case.  Here’s an example of an encounter that may have occurred a few years ago:

                [“Vindicated” comes on at a restaurant/bar]

                Friend of a friend I just met:  This song is so gay.  What kind of audience do they think they have here?

                [Friend of a friend mockingly sings a line from the songs and looks to me for agreement]

                Me:  Oh…yeahhhhh, they really ruined that solid run of songs they had going.

                [I make an excuse to get another drink and slink away so my enjoyment of the song goes undetected.]

The main chorus spoke a lot on my behalf when I tried to convince myself that I was making strides in my life.  I know I’m selfish and my rules may be flawed but there’s still a lot to like if you scrub off the surface of dirt I’ve covered myself in.

1. “Ocean Avenue” – Yellowcard

If I could find you now things would get better / We could leave this town and run forever / I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together / Let your waves crash down on me / And take me away, yeah yeah

My introduction to this song, and Yellowcard, for that matter, was through its video.  I was intrigued by the storyline being portrayed in the video.  I mentioned in the previous year’s post that I increasingly became a fan of alternative music with non-traditional elements.  Any group with a violinist would seem to fit that bill, right?  I became addicted to the ending of the song where the violin was so prominently featured.  I broke my rule and bought the album of the same name based on the strength of “Ocean Avenue.”  I was not disappointed.  It played on a fairly steady loop back in college.  Yellowcard’s presence remains strong in my playlists.

Q101: 2003

How did we get here?

2003 (Or, the year I really wanted to date a girl named Stacy with a hot mom and my radio could seemingly do no wrong…yes, even including OutKast)

5. “Swing, Swing” – The All-American Rejects

Wish cast into the sky / I'm moving on / Sweet beginnings do arise / She knows I was wrong / The notes are old / They bend, they fold / And so do I to a new love

As you’ll see even more in subsequent years, I’m kind of a sucker for songs with non-traditional rock elements in them.  I mean, who opens a song with a church organ?  All-American Rejects - that’s who.  These guys put out a lot of solid stuff back in the mid-2000s and this is the song that started it all.  The sports guy in me wanted to tie the “swing, swing, swing” lyric to baseball.  In my head, when I hear the song, there’s a crack-of-the-bat sound in the background during that part of the chorus.  I’m weird, I know. 

4. “Hands Down” – Dashboard Confessional

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me/ So won't you kill me / So I die happy / My heart is yours to fill or burst / To break or bury, or wear as jewelry / Whichever you prefer

It’s debatable whether or not Dashboard Confessional should be allowed on this list.  Chris Carraba’s emo-driven lyrics of despair and hope are perhaps best suited for teenage girls, so my inclusion of this song may also be questionable.  And yet, Q101 played it, and I liked it, so here we are.  We’ve all got some guilty pleasures and I guess Dashboard is just one of mine.  (It’s like he’s singing everything my blog is trying to say.)  Anyway, the song is about Carraba’s best date ever, hands down.  He means it.

3. “Send The Pain Below” – Chevelle

I liked having hurt / So send the pain below / So send the pain below / Much like suffocating

Ok, good.  I redeemed myself, right?  The brothers Loeffler gave us several alternative staples from their debut album Wonder What’s Next.  It left us all pondering the same question.  Chevelle was never a group I got fully behind but I did enjoy their singles.  This song works on so many levels.  I can use it to suppress that sickening feeling which emerges after my body decides that it’s had enough running for one day (usually after 30 steps or so).  I can use it to fend off the lingering feelings of rejection when I’ve been ignored yet again at a social function.  Last weekend was not one such time, however.  At my buddy’s wedding, I met someone I’m never going to see again.  That’s a good thing though because it gave me the courage to practice faking some confidence.  After a night of conversation, wacky photo booth pictures, dances, and drinks, I’d call the experiment a success.  Thank you, Chevelle, for helping me send the pain below and do some things I would have never done otherwise.

2. “Buried Myself Alive” – The Used

I think I made it a game to play your game / And let myself cry / I buried myself alive on the inside / So I could shut you out / And let you go away for a long time

The Used’s self-titled debut album gave us a few hits and they’ve been reasonably solid players in the game since.  The lead singer’s tendency to wail in their songs works in this case because it makes you believe he really is buried alive and trying to get out.  We can all probably sympathize with shutting someone out to get them off of our minds.  I think I much rather prefer my fortress of solitude as opposed to an earthy, underground dwelling with limited oxygen, but hey, to each his own.

1. “Fine Again” – Seether

It seems like every day's the same / And I'm left to discover on my own / It seems like everything is gray / And there's no color to behold

Back in the days of the JJC car rides, this may have been the song I looked most forward to hearing on the radio.  Even now, I have no problem letting “Fine Again” bear the flag for that period of my life.  The song’s intro flashes me back and generally puts me into a satisfied state of mind when I hear it.  Like anybody in a rut, I could identify with the lyrics.  However, they’d have more meaning a few years down the road.  The song was included in the soundtrack for Madden 2003, which was pretty damn solid if I recall.  This won’t be the last we hear from Seether on my countdowns. 

Q101: 2002

How did we get here?

2002 (Or, the year that Q101 was a glorious companion on all those trips to and from JJC)

5. “Get Over It” – OK Go

Aren't you such a catch? / What a prize, got a body like a battle axe / Love that perfect frown, honest eyes / We ought to buy you a Cadillac

Ohhh, there’s so very much to say about this song, which probably helped it crack my top 5.  Long before these guys became famous for playing on treadmills, there was “Get Over It.”  There was some spirited discussion between myself and my best friend Tom over what exactly a battle axe body was.  I’m still not sure I know.  It means she has blades growing out of her skin, right?  This song will also forever be associated with the discovery of Matt’s (my other best friend) girlfriend and (now) wife.  Tom drafted a contract to verify the female’s existence and I reviewed it.  It was also somehow decided that I needed to get the female’s number so a thorough line of questioning could be administered.  This all ties back to OK Go because “Get Over It” was stuck in our heads and Tom continually hounded me to “get get get the number.”  Matt and Shannon have been happily married for years now.  I guess he gets the last laugh.  Me?  Well, some of us are better suited for writing little-read blogs.

4. “Crawling In The Dark” – Hoobastank

Help me carry on, assure me it's okay / To use my heart and not my eyes to navigate the darkness / Will the ending be ever coming suddenly? / Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?

I don’t have a ton to say about this one.  It’s a good song to get you pumped up.  It’s better than “The Reason.”  The song was featured in a Mountain Dew commercial, which is a product I enjoy on occasion.  Dave’s health tip of the day:  changing nothing else in your diet except cutting out pop, or severely limiting it, will go a long way towards losing weight.  It worked for me.  I guess I could focus on the lyrics.  Um, yeah, will I get to see the ending to my story or is this as good as it gets?  I’m a pretty patient guy but even I’ve got my limits…

3. “Here Is Gone” – The Goo Goo Dolls

I'm not the one who broke you / I'm not the one you should fear / We got to move you, darlin' / I thought I lost you somewhere / But you were never really ever there at all

For years, this was my favorite Goo Goo Dolls song among many favorites.  It has lost its place perched atop that list but it obviously still ranks pretty high.  The Gutterflower album was a strong offering from one of my top artists.  Musically, I’m a huge fan of those sinewy guitar riffs.  Lyrically, it’s a song I can readily identify with.  When I’m left wondering where I lost it in my pursuit of someone, “Here Is Gone” can provide some soothing justification.  It’s a lot easier to convince myself that I never had a real chance.   

2. “Blurry” – Puddle Of Mudd

Everyone is changing / There's no one left that's real / To make up your own ending / And let me know just how you feel  

Puddle of Mudd is a band that I had higher hopes for back in the early 2000s.  They gave us a few other popular songs but the bar was simply raised too high with the Come Clean album.  Nonetheless, “Blurry” is an enjoyable song with an attractive opening.  Fun fact:  this song is about lead singer Wes Scantlin’s longing for his son.  Interestingly enough, that’s also his kid in the video.

1. “Sweetness” – Jimmy Eat World

I was spinning free, woah / With a little sweet and simple numbing me / Stumble till you crawl, woah / Sinking into sweet uncertainty

Cool.  Mandie and I shared the same top song for 2002.  I dare anybody not to sing along with this catchy tune when it comes on.  Jimmy Eat World is another of my favorite groups and Bleed American is obviously a fantastic album all the way around.  I was a custodial engineer cleaning schools for the Peotone School District for several summers in high school and college.  With all due respect to Applied Systems, it’s still probably the best job I’ve ever had.  I could write a hundred stories about the antics we pulled and the memories I have from that job.  One of them is of Jason Thomas pushing a broom at 5:30 AM.  I was half awake but I remember “Sweetness” blaring out of our little stereo and Ja bouncing along to the beat.  Go ahead.  Sing it back, woooooaaaaaaaaaaaaah.