Sunday, July 28, 2013

I Wouldn't Date Twitter

Dave, why are you not on Twitter?  Your hilarious quips need to be shared with the mobile community.  You would totally command a following every bit the equal to the one enjoyed by that person who shares links to amusing cat picture GIFs.  Whoops.  Pardon me.  I was just daydreaming again and reminding myself how awesome I am.  I didn’t realize I had started typing.  Anyway, I’ve had a couple people encourage me to join the exciting world of tweeting and hash tags.

Twitter has never been very appealing because my cell phone isn’t equipped to handle the necessary interaction.  Sure, I could sit down at home, log in via my laptop, and spend minutes (hours?) trolling through the laundry list of people I follow just to see their quirky comment of the day.  But I have Facebook for that.  Should I feel the need to actually respond to something, now we’re talking about a real relationship.  I can either sit patiently staring at the computer screen waiting for some kind of response or become that guy who gets back to you hours (days?) later.  That puts a damper on the immediacy of communication that people have become accustomed to these days.

Despite the technological limitations I would be forced to operate within, I warmed to the idea of using another outlet to advertise my thoughts to the world.  Ego always trumps practicality.  Besides, who isn’t looking for one more way to waste some precious minutes of the day?  Twitter, I can slot you in from 5:45 [after Facebook] until dinner every night.  That was until I learned that each tweet limited you to… 140 characters?!?!  Surely, this had to be some gross oversight by the creators.  At 140 characters, I’m still warming up the keyboard and making sure all the letters still work.  I can make usability concessions but creative ones?  That is where I draw the line.  Nobody boxes Dave Younker into such a small corner!

I am fully aware that I can be a bit verbose at times.  Any co-workers who have read some of my emails can attest to that statement.  I just can’t help myself.  I’ve received “good communicator” on my last couple reviews so I feel compelled to live up to such praise.  My boss even informally mentioned that my communication skills are something a woman will appreciate one day.  Still waiting…  In all seriousness though, I am working on trying to deliver the same quality without as much quantity, at least at work.  In order to practice, I am self-imposing a strict 1,000 word limit on this entry.

Nowhere was my wordiness as apparent as it was in my online dating profile.  Before I deactivated my account, I came to the realization that my profile was longer than everyone else’s.  I subscribed to the belief that people would want as much information about me as possible in order to make the best informed decision they could.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone did that?  Truthfully, I think I just saw it as another opportunity to write about myself.  I would probably try to make a living off that if it were actually possible. 

In hindsight, it’s possible that my profile (and emails) contain too much information to be comfortably consumed in one sitting.  With regards to a dating profile, there is also something to be said for being succinct.  You don’t know the person so you’re going to make assumptions.  The less you give them, the less likely they are to misjudge you.  As with emails, you should strive to educate the audience on what is absolutely necessary so the important messages do not get lost in the sea of words. 

I once heard a guy lamenting about the existence of things like Facebook and Google in terms of dating someone.  You truly can pre-learn a ton about the person.  He was right; where is the excitement of the discovery phase?  It was a refreshing point of view.  It even made me rethink the point of this entire blog.  At the very least, I may trim the fat from my profile if I ever decide to reactivate it.

Once I resigned myself to the fact that many of my female counterparts were not going to be as forthcoming in their profiles as yours truly, I began to focus more on how something was said versus what was said.  The ability to express one’s self in coherent sentences is an underrated trait.  If her profile tried to merge TEN sentences into one or she chose the wrong application of there/their/they’re, I had no desire to continue.  Yeah, but she’s really hot.  OK, maybe I’ll look at the rest of her pictures. 

There is an entire generation of people growing up under the pretense that it is acceptable to write using incomplete albeit phonetically correct words.  You get text message conversations that go something like this:  

Person:  R u comin 2nite?

Me:  No.

Person:  Your lame

Me:  Maybe but you are you’re an idiot.  See?  I can truncate characters too AND do it properly.

 
I am going to throw some of the blame for the deterioration of the English language towards Twitter.  With the aforementioned character limit, I suppose you have to get creative in order to get your message across.  While I can appreciate that ingenuity, I’m not sure that’s a habit I want to develop. 

Of course there are times when I get lazy and stray from proper capitalization and punctuation, such as during an informal IM conversation with one person.   However, I try to make it a point to use actual words and not a bastardized, adopted version of one.  More importantly, I understand the concept of stepping up my game when there is an audience or when the situation warrants it.  My dad showed me some emails he received at work and I wondered if the author graduated high school let alone college.  What passes for professionalism these days?

I think

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