I had announced my hair plans at work a couple days prior to the trimming and a female co-worker told me not to do it. Upon seeing me for the first time post-buzz, she again voiced her displeasure. Ha! If I lived my life according to what women wanted…well, I’d probably be a lot further along. Anyway, given my disdain for the look, I envision a lot of ball cap days for me in the foreseeable future. It is probably worth mentioning that the haircut didn’t cost me a nickel; a co-worker offered to do it pro bono. Accepting his offer probably underscores my frugality but it made it a lot easier to go through with the decision. He actually did a pretty good job too.
Maybe changing things up with my hairstyle will somehow shift the axis of my universe. (That's the idea, right?). I sure feel like I could use a change. I’m struggling to find the joy in the events that have defined me for so long. Bowling is a prime example. I just haven’t been having a lot of fun this season. My game is a mess and I have about zero confidence in my abilities right now. I’ve never been a big-time strike stringer but I prided myself on solid spare shooting that always kept my scores respectable. That facet of my game has been erratic at times this year and the huge scores have been far and few between. It just feels like the ceiling is really low for me right now. Whenever I feel like I’m throwing it good, I look up at the end of the night and it’s a series in the high 500s or very low 600s. The irony in all of this is that my 2 teams have done quite well this year. My mixed league team has already wrapped up 1st place and my men’s league team will be bowling for 1st tomorrow in a winner-take-all single game match.
Given the team nature of the sport of bowling, you can once again see why I consistently describe myself as a selfish person. I should be happy that we’re doing so well. I’m certainly not unhappy, but I have to wonder if I would be happier shooting 250 in a losing effort than shooting 150 and being victorious. In my mixed league, I actually have the top average and highest single game score. My average is basically the same as it was last year so there isn’t any discernible regression. Still, I very much feel like a big fish in a small pond in that league. If you saw some of the bowlers, you'd know my feeling is justified. That is my “fun” league though and there are certainly good times. My biggest complaint is that despite only being an every other weekend commitment, there’s a consistent problem with no-shows. It’s really hard to get the competitive juices flowing when you’re bowling against no one. Anyway, I just need to pull it together for 1 more week for my men’s league; then I can forget about bowling for a while. Who knows? Maybe I’ll catch lightning in a bottle.
Softball season is coming up. I can’t say I have the same drive to play this year for that sport either. Fantasy sports are in danger of being another supposed "passion" you can cross off the list. I won $1100 in a fantasy baseball league last year, but I was partners with my uncle. I’ve convinced myself that it’s mostly due to the effort he put into it. Cumulatively, across all my teams, it was the worst fantasy baseball season I’ve endured since I began playing the game. If I have another year like last... Maybe I need to take my “do the opposite” approach to another level and completely re-invent myself. Is it time for some new hobbies? Time to scrap everything I once knew? No more sports? No more watching the same Simpsons or Seinfeld episode for the 100th time? My life may not be on the decline but it’s definitely reached a plateau.
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you’ve known my relationship situation. You now know how disenchanted I’ve become with several of my various pastimes. I can’t even point to my work as a shining star in an otherwise dark space. I’m stuck in an uninspiring job with mediocre pay and no real immediate prospects of advancement. I’ve been there for over 6 years so maybe I’m getting close to having a 7-year itch that needs to be scratched. Disclaimer for any co-workers for who may be reading this: My commitment and focus to my job has never wavered and it never will. I believe in earning the money I get paid. I’m also grateful to have a stable job in this struggling economy. I guess it’s just not what I planned to be doing or earning at this stage in my life.
At a company address a few weeks back, our CEO mentioned various job openings at satellite offices such as Phoenix and Tampa. We were encouraged to look into those openings if that’s something that would interest us. I haven’t researched what the jobs would entail yet but I’ve fantasized about applying for one of them. I’d be jumping into the situation head-first. It’s exactly the opposite of what I would do. Eh, who I am kidding? I’m not going to do a damn thing about it. It’s the same reason I’m going play softball again this summer, play the next fantasy sport in season, and eventually get around to starting that Simpsons bracket and documenting my favorite episodes. It’s what I’ve always done. If you’re looking for the sure bet, run to your nearest bookie and take the over on me initiating any change. Finding a woman, getting a house, changing jobs? Take your pick. Heck, take all of them. Applied has called my bluff so far and it’s worked pretty well for them.
I guess I’m just looking for that someone or something to bring some new inspiration into my life, to make me a better man, and allow me to see an incline up ahead instead of just flat ground. I just don’t see her or it walking through that door anytime soon. I could convince myself that person or thing just isn’t in this area (believe me, I’ve tried) and run off to Phoenix or Tampa. But wouldn’t I just be running from the real problem? Knowing absolutely nobody in either of those areas would all but ensure some long, lonely nights. At least I’ve got my family and a handful of acquaintances around here to keep me sane and upbeat most of the time.
Maybe deep down I’m not ready to give up on this area just yet though. I did recently sign up for Match.com. However, it would be folly to think I’m putting any real effort into it. I only signed up for the free version, which means I cannot take any significant action. I really just wanted to use it as another avenue to lure a whole new audience of women to this blog. Crap, the gig’s up. Yeah, I didn’t think this plan out. I review my daily matches and save the ones that look like they have potential. I’m still too cheap to enhance my membership and, more importantly, I’m not in a position where I can go after a girl with any conviction. There’s several reasons which you may know by heart but a large reason is because I think every conversation will eventually wind up with me saying the following: Let’s go back to my place…It’s currently a single room but I think you’ll enjoy the Little League trophies and wall stickers of the 1992 Dream Team…Oh, my parents down the hall?...Don’t worry about them; they’re cool. Speaking of houses, I guess I have some “progress” to report, at least what passes for progress in my world. I did visit 3 open houses over the weekend. Nothing promising though. Sorry for the melodramatic entry everybody. At least I’ve been able to stay away from topics like politics, religion, and her thus far.
And just because I feel like it, here’s my current “it” song playing on repeat. I like to fool myself into thinking that’s me. The truth is she’d never frequent any of my preferred drinking establishments.
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